


Mandown

by LlawenGwaed



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Canon Compliant, Episode: Big Finish: Broken, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Season/Series 02, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:15:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22988503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LlawenGwaed/pseuds/LlawenGwaed
Summary: For some people, life is always going to be hard. For Ianto, that is rather a universal constant. When everything changes, but in his case it's same s**t, different day. When your personal life is a mess, and your professional life might just get you killed at the same time. And just when you thought things were better life smacks you in the head again- you have to hope you've picked your friends and adopted loved ones well.I'm sorry. I don't do nice Torchwood stories. Or at least, you should heed the Doctor's advice about life being boxes of both good and bad things. I also wouldn't recommend this if you're wading through grief at the moment.Oh, and this is Torchwood. Swearing, violence, sex, Welshness etc to be expected. Based after Something borrowed, before Fragments. Impacted by events in Broken, but you don't have to have heard it.*
Relationships: Gwen Cooper/Rhys Williams, Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Owen Harper/Toshiko Sato
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Mandown

Ianto lay on the grass on the side of the motorway. Pieces of car glass caught in his hair, clothes shredded by roadrash. Bruised all over. The stale smell of fear was replaced by grass, skidding rubber and burned clutch. Any moment now the blue grey blur of RAF greatcoat was going to reach him. Too late. He could taste blood and feel the parasite inside him ripping through his flesh, tearing his insides to shreds. He couldn’t breathe deeply enough to scream. He closed his eyes, knowing he’d be gone before Jack and Owen got to him.

It goes black but not quiet-“I always said you’d never amount to anything. I told you it would be this way.”

*****

For a moment Ianto wasn’t sure how he was back in his bed at home. His heart was thudding as he came around quickly from a pain killer and anesthetic induced nightmare. He was alone, he wasn’t supposed to be alone. He shouldn’t be in the flat by himself.

He tried to breathe deeply but that pulled on his aching back muscles and the wound on his abdomen. He was incapable of getting up without help. He tried to brace against panic but knew he was mostly helpless to it at this point. It was then he remembered his Mum had died.

He raised his hand and wiped his face, wet with tears and sweat. Everything was really screwed up right now.

There are foot falls outside the bedroom door. Familiar, solid and comforting. The door opens quietly and swift. Ianto could see Jacks outline against the light outside.

“You OK?” Jack asks.

“No,” Ianto breathes as Jack shuts the door behind him. He groans as the bed shifts as Jack lies next to him, his hand reaching across and finding Ianto’s face wet, Jack's fingers began stroking his cheek.

“What do you need?” Jack said, direct and to the point.

“I think- I need to talk.” Ianto’s voice was thick with pain, breathy and strained.

“O.k.” Jack shifted closer, moving his arms around his lover carefully. One arm under his shoulders, the other resting on his chest, holding his hand. “What do you want to say?”

Inhaling and exhaling a few times, Ianto tried to start but the words were catching in his throat. Jack squeezed his hand, weakly Ianto gripped back.

Silence for a few moments.

“Sorry.” Ianto finally said. “I’m not ready yet.”

Jack reached up and stroked his face again.

“Can you stay?” Ianto asked.

“Whatever you need.” Jack replied, softly, leaning over and kissing Ianto on the forehead before laying down again.

********

4 days earlier.

After a few minutes, Owen couldn’t help but notice Ianto had been paused in front of the coffee machine without moving. Just staring straight forward.

He got up from his desk and stood next to Ianto. “You OK mate?”

Ianto blinked and snapped out of it. “Yeah- fine.” He replied, clearly without thinking about it. He couldn’t help but look confused when Owen passed him the milk. Again, it took another moment for him to realise he was halfway through making coffee.

“Ianto.” Jack yelled. “You ready?”

“Yep.” He picked up the two mugs of coffee and started towards Jack. Owen picked up the notebook he’d put down to make coffee and went after him. Gwen watched, unsure what was happening.

Jack was stood outside the conference room waiting- Ianto went inside and as he put coffee down realised he didn’t have everything. He turned to see Owen handing the notebook to Jack.

Owen murmured quietly- “Jack- he is-“

Jack nodded, “He wants to be here.”

Pausing for a moment, Owen declined to carry the conversation further. He glanced in Ianto’s direction then turned and left them to it. 

It was awkward being caught in the middle of Gwen and Tosh not having been told what was going on. Owen knew, because Ianto’s Mum’s terminal diagnosis came while Jack was away. He had dealt with the fallout from that- which involved getting Ianto absolutely shitfaced.

Now, Ianto was borderline non-functional- he could just about fulfil simple tasks, but was in no way fit for field work. Owen couldn’t help but feel he should not be there. But then, what did he know, he was just the medic.

He headed back towards the coffee machine, picked up Tosh and Gwens cups and delivered then to their desks. “Everything OK?” Gwen asked.

“Couldn’t say.” Owen replied. “How are the lenses coming Tosh?”

“Slowly.” She said. “Looks like the radiation burst destroyed the aural nerve interface- but, the new software should give us an idea of what’s being said.”

“So, it lip reads?” Gwen asked.

“Basically.” Tosh responded. “Or at least it will do. It needs a lot of testing- the more data the software gets to analyse, the more accurate it gets.”

Owen peered at Tosh's screen, suddenly aware he could see himself “Wait- are you wearing them now?” 

She smiled at him. “Well, they need body heat to work. That puts you out of it I’m afraid. I was thinking we should do shifts.”

“Can I take them home?” Gwen asked.

Owen chuckled and raised his eyebrows. “Yeah. Last thing we need is analysis of Rhys’ arse.”

“It’s a good arse I’ll have you know.” Gwen chuckled.

“Careful,” Tosh said. “You’ll have Jack wanting to oversee everything.”

*********

“Tosh is still working on the Xelo scanner. It’s putting out interesting information- we just don’t know what it means yet.”

Jack looked up from the phone on the table to Ianto, sat on the opposite side of the room. He’d paused about forty seconds ago, the shorthand on the pad of paper in front of him only covered one side. He had completely zoned out. Again.

“Well, remember. General Hague wants it back- in one piece.” Martha’s voice intoned from the speaker.

Laughing a little, he responded, "I said we’d figure it out. I said nothing about how many pieces.”

“Jack-“ She warned.

“OK. One. The boring number.” She chuckled a little before he continued. “Anything else you think we should know about?”

“Nothing I’m authorised to disclose.” There was a beat before she spoke again. “Oh, wait. Had anything parasitic come your way recently?”

“Not since the mayflies.”

“Right. Couple of corpses have shown up- nasty. Alien DNA found inside them but, they were killed then cut open. We don’t know what that’s all about.”

While she was speaking Ianto suddenly looked up, realising that he had completely lost the conversation.

“Whereabouts?” Jack asked.

“Milton Keynes and Swanage.”

Ianto’s eyes locked with Jacks, almost bewildered as to what he’d missed. “Hmm. We’ll keep an eye out.” Jack responded, looking back at him.

“Alright, I gotta go Jack." 

“Send my love to the family.”

“Will do. Bye Ianto-“

“Bye.” He said in a small voice.

The call terminated at Martha’s end. Jack stood and paced around the table to Ianto, before pulling out and sitting in the chair next to him. Tentatively, he placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hey.”

“Sorry-.” Ianto exhaled. Shaking his head before meeting Jack’s eyes again. “Not much use to you am I?“

Reaching over, Jack his other hand on top of Ianto’s. The corners of his mouth turned up a little as he felt the pressure of Ianto’s fingers squeezing his.

“What would help?” Jack asked, trying to be practical. He knew by now that Ianto was not very good at asking for help- so he had to lead this. “We could take a walk- get you some food-“

“I need to not feel like this.” Ianto said quickly, his voice charged with emotion. “Everything I do- I can’t focus-.“

Moving his hand from Ianto’s shoulder, Jack touched his face, his thumb running along the jawline. “So what do you need from me?”

Hesitating. Ianto wasn’t sure he should ask. “I- can I see you? Tonight?”

Inhaling, Jack let out a sigh. “O.K. Logistics are-“

“I know. I keep your diary.” 

Jack hated this. Hated that he was essentially powerless to help Ianto with this. Hated that life was once again putting Ianto though hell. But- at least he could be here for him. He went with his instincts and pulled his lover into his arms. After a moment he felt Ianto relax a little, dropping his resistance. Then his warm breath was in Jack’s ear. “Please- I don’t want to be by myself.”

He couldn’t bear to deny him right now. Jack pulled back slightly so he could look at Ianto.

He was tired. Not just in terms of needing sleep but of needing rest from everything. Most people looked older when they were tired, but Jack always thought exhaustion made Ianto look younger.

“O.k.” Jack nodded. Conceding. “But I’ll have to leave early.”

Ianto gave the smallest of nods in response.

*****

The door to Ianto’s flat was left unlocked. Jack wasn’t sure if that was an absentminded oversight or a deliberate act.

He stepped in, locked the door behind him and found Ianto in the living room, sat motionless on the sofa, staring at the wall. He’d removed his jacket and shoes but the rest of him was still buttoned up tight.

“Hey.” Jack greeted him. He got no more of a response than Ianto raising his eyes to meet his.

“That good?” Jack asked as he slipped off his coat, which was heavy with rain, and spread it over the radiator. “Have you eaten?”

“I’m not hungry.” Ianto mumbled.

“When did you last eat?”

“Not sure.” He stared at the floor.

“Yes you are.” Jack almost snapped back. “You need to look after yourself, last thing you need is you getting sick.”

He waited. Ianto didn’t respond. Didn’t move. “How was the hospital?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Ianto intoned.

Well, that’s emotional lockdown, Jack thought to himself. What the hell am I supposed to do with him? He parked himself on the sofa next to Ianto.

“So… no dinner, no conversation. You’re gonna have to help me out-.“

Ianto leaned in quickly and kissed Jack hard. It took Jack a moment to register before reciprocating.

A few moments later Ianto broken off the kiss. Jack pulled him against him, holding onto him firmly as an embrace. “Please-“ Ianto whispered into his ear.

“O.K.” Jack sighed following a pause. As he spoke he forcefully pulled Ianto’s tie out of its knot and ripped it out from under his collar.

Ianto started to breathe heavily as Jack pulled his shirt open- nimble fingers exposing him. Then, in a sudden shift, Jack stood, pulled Ianto up with him and threw him against the wall, before pulling his arms behind his back. His wrists were forced together and bound with his tie.

He groaned with discomfort, feeling the weight of Jacks body against him. The force used, raising adrenaline. Then Jacks breath was hot and harsh in his ear. “You know the drill. You say when you’ve had enough. Understand?”

“Yes.”

Jack slammed into him again, compressing his ribs against the wall, then pulled his head backwards by his hair. “Try again?”

“Yes Sir.” Ianto breathed fast and loud, in keen anticipation of what came next. 

**

Jack snatched up his phone in the darkness and jabbed at it until the alarm stopped sounding. It was 4.30 in the morning. That had happened suddenly.

Not so suddenly that he hadn’t lain awake for a while, wondering how many times Ianto would ask for this. Jack lay there, unsure if saying yes- if facilitating last night was really okay. But what was the alternative? Wait for Ianto to do something reckless and potentially harmful out of desperation?

This was an outlet, this was safe- and that was the point. Jack had to fight every instinct he had, to shield and care for him- at least until Ianto was ready to accept Jacks affections. Until he was hurt enough to relent and fall into Jacks arms.

He’d always been cautious with Ianto, careful never to overwhelm him with touch. The physical side of the relationship had always on Ianto’s terms, for him to surrender that to Jack- meant a great deal.

Gradually, Jack withdrew from Ianto’s arms- avoiding the bruising that had started to appear last night- and slipped out from the bed, reaching for his clothes in the darkness. Behind him he heard Ianto stir and roll over onto his side of the bed.

“You got some sleep then?” Jack asked in a low voice, pulling trousers on quickly.

“A bit- ow.” Ianto shifted and grimaced.

Jack paused before reaching for his t-shirt. “You sore?”

“Yeah.” He breathed in reply.

“I told you-.“ Jack chided, unhappy that things may have gone too far last night.

“Yeah. I know!” Ianto snapped at him, immediately grimacing at his own tone of voice. “Sorry.” He added.

Jack sat back down on the bed and leaned over, his hand stroking at Ianto’s jaw and neck. “Go back to sleep. I’ll see you this afternoon.”

Jack stood and left the room.

Ianto listened as he pulled on his coat, found his keys and left. He wanted to call out to Jack, for him to stay, but he was loathed to ask

Groggily, Ianto answered his phone around twenty minutes after Jack left- expecting for Jack to announce he’d forgotten something. Instead, he found himself sat up and pulling on clothes while still on the phone.

***

He ran down the hospital corridor, blindingly bright at this hour. He reached the ward and started a conversation with the nurse at the desk.

“No- we didn’t call.” She said.

“But- there must be some kind of mistake.” He breathed in the odour of disinfectant. Ianto was confused. The message was to get here. Quickly.

“She’s sleeping love. Has been all night.” The nurse got up from the desk, hesitated, then gestured for Ianto to follow her. She opened the door to his mum’s room. “See.”

She was still there. No change. 

Was he going mad? That was possible.

He walked away, making his way back to the car park. Maybe he should call Jack- just to check in. Maybe he dreamed the whole call. Maybe he should call Owen to prescribe him something as he was starting to lose his mind. Or Gwen because she would at least listen and believe him. Or Tosh to figure out where the call came from. Because he hadn’t imagined it. The words were too real in his ears.

Who would do that? Why would they call him out here? In the middle of the night, on his own- Oh Shit.

Footsteps behind him. Then what felt very much like the barrel of a handgun poked in his back.

Shit. 

**Author's Note:**

> Further chapters to follow.
> 
> Actually, I wanted this to be a parallel to Cyberwoman. At least Ianto has people to lean on this time.
> 
> *Frankly if you haven't listened to Big Finish 'Broken' you've missed out on some epic audio canon.


End file.
